Survival Diaries: processing a pandemic through the lyrics of the Avett Brothers
by Matt Otey
Your Diary is Boring
We have quite the opportunity to be writing and processing our feelings during this awkward time of recommended distancing that has left introverts joyous and extroverts mourning. But the truth is that diaries are boring. Be it your diary, my diary, and even your best friend’s diary, they are all boring and lack the soul-piercing truths mixed with Appalachian exuberance throughout the Avett Brother’s catalogue. In their kinda-sorta-recent-Judd-Apatow directed documentary “May It Last,” Seth Avett shares, “One thing we’ve become professionals at is reading our diary on stage.” Now seems the perfect time to explore which of those diary entries best encapsulate our own feelings and assist in our own processing while we spend another day inside our heads and homes. Also, I’m always looking for an excuse as any to write about my favorite Avett Brothers songs.
This Feels Like Recess
I can’t help but feel a freedom some mornings/afternoons/evenings/late nights because my plans have been cancelled, and I have a day to myself. These are the times when I seek out some of their earlier, jaunty tunes, which make me tap my toe and grin.
JAUNTY.
Talk on Indolence
COVID-Appropriate Lyrics:
Well I've been lockin' myself up in my house for sometime now
Readin' and writin' and readin' and thinkin'
And searching for reasons and missing the seasons.
The Autumn, the Spring, the Summer, the snow.
The record will stop and the record will go.
I suck at starting my day most of the time. “Listless” is a perfect way to describe it because this word literally means lacking energy and enthusiasm, yet it also says, “Yeah, I ain’t got no lists. So what?!” It’s nice to hear that sort of shared listlessness but with all of the energy. Sometimes, I listen to this early in my day, and it encourages me to shower and put on fresh sweatpants.
Colorshow
COVID-Appropriate Lyrics:
Try to keep the madness low
And
And I’m done forever
It’s you and me forever
There’s got to be something you haven’t tried, yet. Provided it’s safe and mostly responsible, the fact you haven’t tried it yet is dumb, and now is the time to go for it! As the kids say, shoot your shot. Make that thing you want to make. Write that story. Take those photos. I don’t know… my creativity lacks the breadth to encourage any more specifically, but I know you’ve got some free time. Keep the madness low by making something. And when you’re feeling a bit mad go in to your bathroom, lock the door, stare in the mirror, and shout, “AND I’M DONE FOREVER IT’S YOU AND ME FOREVER.”
My Friday evenings always included that before the quarantine so I figure if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
It Goes On and On
COVID-Appropriate Lyrics:
It goes on, on, on, on.
It goes on, on, on, on.
It goes on, on, on, on.
It goes on, on, on, on.
This is a wonderful song about love carrying on and on, but for me it is:
1) the song that taught me what harmony sounded like but not well enough that I could demonstrate it in any meaningful way. And
B) a tremendous thing to shout on days that lack any sort of defining characteristics. I think I’m writing this on a Friday, but have no real proof that I am. So I’ll just shout-sing this harmony.
Apocalyptic Avett
Let’s really lean into some of the discomfort we’re all experiencing and put some music to those feelings!
Tear Down the House
COVID-Appropriate Lyrics:
I have no memory of who I once was
And I don't remember your name
AND
Take everything that I used to own
And burn it in a pile
I’m pretty sure this song is about a breakup, but that’s fine because we kind of broke up with modern civilization for a while. Or we’re on a break? I don’t know. I’m not well-versed in the Ross + Rachel definitions. But at the end of this social distancing, we might not remember each other’s names, and maybe we’ll burn up all our stuff.
Backwards With Time
COVID-Appropriate Lyrics:
Am I losing my mind
Am I growing backwards with time?
In a very real sense, the world seems to be growing backwards. Smog levels are dropping, animals are roaming deserted streets, and families are spending evenings together.
Die Die Die
COVID-Appropriate Lyrics:
You can try to swim the sea
You can try to hold the breeze
You can try to hide the sun
But say goodbye to everyone
This one is just to cheer you up. Nietzsche would be proud. The good news is that right now, you shouldn’t try to swim any seas or be holding any breeze. Also, you’re hidden from the sun most days! Cheer up!
Skin and Bones
COVID-Appropriate Lyrics:
I built the fence, I hung the sign
Blood red letters said 'Keep in mind
Where I been so don't come in’
Maybe today is the day you should paint that sign you’ve been thinking of painting all these years. I'll leave the color palette up to you, but we can't deny the significance and efficiency of red letters
When I Drink
COVID-Appropriate Lyrics:
When I drink
I say things I don't want to say
I do things I don't wanna do
AND
Just do your best
It's the only way to keep that last bit of sanity
Maybe I don't have to be good but I can try to be
At least a little better than I've been so far
I’m sure, for the intrepid internet sleuth, there are statistics to be found about how much drinking has been happening during this social distancing and quarantining. I’m not your guy for that. But I am here to hopefully turn the corner and say, yeah, you might be drinking too much some days. And yeah, you might be doing stuff you wish you weren’t. And yeah, you might be feeling a crushing sense of guilt or shame. And yeah… where was I?
Wait! Yes. I remember now. Do your best. Drink less if that’s what it takes. Stay as sane as you can by being a little better each day. And take lots of pictures and share them to the internet; if you don’t share it publicly, does it even count?
FAMILY TIME
All caps because they’re around ALL OF THE TIME. And, listen, I don’t understand it fully because I’m a single guy in the midst of all of this madness. But I have the feeling that you’re happy to have them around more than you aren’t.
C-Sections and Railway Trestles
GUYS, THEY PERFORMED THIS DURING THE QUARANTINE SO, YEAH, IT’S MEANT TO BE.
COVID-Appropriate Lyrics:
Son, have fun with your life, it's a drama
Just one period and all kinds of commas
Now you got a onesie but then you get pajamas
You know you got me and you know ya got your mama
We’re in the middle of a comma right now. It’s a stinky, confusing, and potentially divisive comma, but I’m hopeful that it’s not the period-full-stop-end-of-days event. Brew some coffee, hug your loved ones, and attempt to remember/focus on the good, even though the spawn of your loins is super annoying sometimes.
Bring Your Love To Me
COVID-Appropriate Lyrics:
And if it's meant to be
I will go alone, God knows I can
Just not as well, and besides what kind of fun is there
To be had with no one else?
Maybe it’s this glass of bourbon talking, but if you’re lucky enough to be in a somewhat stable, non-abusive relationship, you’re living the dream right now. What an adventure to live through this quarantine with your loved one by your side. In fact, if it’s not adventurous enough, then I’m ordering you (yes, ordering, by the power vested in me by the internet) to have fun with each other by doing a puzzle or making a dinner together or turning the television off and dancing or writing a story together or reading a book together aloud.
Also, the banjo SLAPS in this song. Is that how I’m supposed to say it? Get off my lawn.
Murder in the City
COVID-Appropriate Lyrics:
Make sure my sister knows I loved her
Make sure my mother knows the same
Always remember, there was nothing worth sharing
Like the love that let us share our name
At the end of a long day around each other, remember how fortunate you are to have your family there with you. At the end of a short day, remember that, too. Hey, at the beginning of any day, be thankful for the love that let you share your name.
Don’t be vengeful, and love each other. That’s a pretty good way to start and finish each day, be it in the bustling city or a quiet farmhouse or anywhere in-between.
Home Improvement (with or without Tim Allen)
I’ve been describing it as “free-time” throughout, but maybe that’s a poor term. It doesn’t feel free, there’s plenty of stress and loneliness associated with it, and it the ambiguity of its duration detracts from any real freedom we may normally feel on a weekend with no plans. But perhaps this abnormal time we are sharing is the perfect moment to make some meaningful changes around your home and in your life. Allow me, a stranger, to suggest some ideas along those lines.
Bleeding White
COVID-Appropriate Lyrics:
Don't say you know my type, I'm one of a kind
Let's thank god for merciful variety
AND
I'm bleeding gold in the streets
but there's no one to see
because the kingdom is empty
They all left in the night
spirits broken in spite
of all the promise of morning
Maybe now is the time to stop that self-destructive behavior. Ugh, I know, so many attempts at humor, and now I’m going to be serious. I don’t care. It’s the gamut of emotions that these Avett Brothers arouse within my mind and soul! You’re outrageously unique, and you shouldn’t be wasting that on self-medicating escapism. At least that’s the pep-talk I’ve been giving myself. Work on some good stuff with some of the extra time you may have.
No Hard Feelings
COVID-Appropriate lyrics:
Lord knows they haven't done
Much good for anyone
Kept me afraid and cold
With so much to have and hold
Under the curving sky
I'm finally learning why
It matters for me and you
To say it and mean it too
For life and its loveliness
And all of its ugliness
Good as it's been to me
I have no enemies
Rick Rubin moves kind of funny. But the dude puts his pant on just like everyone else; the only difference is that once he has them on he makes gold records (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=35jXfsO37kE).
That being said, maybe it’s time to write or call or Zoom that person who you share some hard feelings with and work it out. And please believe that I’m not a fan of writing this, as it means I should then go do the same thing if only for consistency. What a world it would be if we all worked on just resolving one conflict during this cultural time-out.
The Weight of Lies
COVID-Appropriate Lyrics:
I once heard the worst thing a man can do is draw a hungry crowd
Tell everyone his name in pride and confidence
But leaving out his doubts
AND
When you run make sure you run
To something and not away from 'cause
Lies don't need an aeroplane to chase you down
I think setting some goals that include humility and honesty amidst whatever ambitions you may have would be a great way to see our culture get a healthy start.
(Otherwise you will be chased down, Wright Brothers style. By the Avett Brothers. So, really, like Inception but with all sorts of brothers, and maybe planes instead of trains.)
Be safe. Be well.
about the author:
Matt has a mustache that was grown to mimic Mark Neuenschwander’s mustache, then actually, as part of a sadistic plot, became bushier and curlier and shinier and all around a much better mustache than Mark’s humble and very original mustache could ever be, so he kept for eternal gloating purposes.
Aside from being a mustache assassin and an avid golfer, Matt is also a man who does write some things but doesn’t write his own bio’s.
